One Hundred Random NejiTen Oneshots!
by Kannika
Summary: One hundred completely random Nejiten oneshots in one place! Number Seven: Cake. Tenten, what have we told you about cooking with explosives?
1. Underwear

**A/N- Yayz! It's finally here! The first chapter in the one hundred Nejiten oneshots! You could consider this kind of a prequel to Hyuga Tenten?, but I don't know. I like it either way, so... here it is! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer- This applies for all the chapters in the story, but I'm only gonna write it once. I don't own Naruto, Neji, Tenten, or anything else in this story except for the storylines.**

"Truth or dare, Ino?"

Ino looked thoughtful, then perked up. "I'll live dangerously!"

The other girls looked up at her, stunned. _Did she just choose dare?_

"Truth!"

The other girls groaned. Ino always played 'Truth or Truth' instead of 'Truth or Dare'.

"C'mon, Ino! You never choose dare!" Hinata groaned. Truth was, all the girls were being very cautious at this particular sleepover, and there hadn't been a single dare in over an hour. And since the girls knew all about each other, they were kinda running out of ideas for questions.

"I'm scared! You people have very scary minds! And I should know!" Ino tapped Sakura's forehead nonchalantly, and she fumed.

"Come on, people! You know the rules! No killing in the house!" Hinata exchanged an exasperated look with Tenten, who jumped into the fight.

"Let's skip to Hinata! She'll choose dare for once!" she glanced at her white-eyed friend. "Right?"

"Yep!" Hinata nodded, and Tenten silently thanked her for being so quick to catch onto these little distractions that she always had at-the-ready should Ino or Sakura lose their temper.

"You two devils in disguise go ahead and choose a dare for Hinata while I go to the bathroom, okay?" Tenten picked herself up off the floor and walked out the door, and the other girls echoed 'okay'.

She would never have left if she knew what Hinata's dare would be...

When she walked back in, the other girls were in a tight circle, giggling together, and Tenten smiled as she realized her and Hinata's diversion worked to break the tension.

The girls looked back up as she squeezed next to Hinata and Sakura. "So, what'd I miss?"

"The _best_ dare ever!" Ino and Sakura giggled as Hinata made a face.

"What was it?" Tenten laughed at Hinata's disgusted face.

"They made me lick the furnace duct." Hinata shuddered. "It _was disgusting_!"

"I wish I'd seen it! You couldn't have waited five minutes?" Tenten shoved Ino playfully.

"Poor Hinata was embarassed enough, we decided to minimize it a tiny bit and not wait for you or videotape it like we were going to." Sakura grinned and exchanged a sly look and high five with Ino, her partner in crime.

Tenten opened her mouth to scold Ino and Sakura, but was stopped by a knock on the door. A servant opened the door with drinks. "You asked for refreshments, Hinata-sama?"

"Yes, thank you." Hinata nodded, and the servant smiled at the girls and handed them the four glasses of purple juice, then exited the room with a respectful nod.

"Wow, Hinata. Why'd you ask for Kool Aid?" Tenten tapped the glass. "Do you have any idea how much sugar is in this?"

"She was hoping maybe sugar would rot Sakura's brain so she could be smartest." Ino answered smartly.

"I am smartest!" Hinata retorted, pushing Ino, who bumped into Sakura.

Who spilled her drink all over Tenten's shirt.

"Oh my gosh! Now look what you made me do Ino!" Sakura shrieked, pushing Ino away and scooting away from the purple juice on the floor.

"It's okay, guys. I expected something to happen, so I brought an extra shirt and pants. No biggie!" Tenten assured them, although she really was quite mad at them for ruining her top. Purple, despite Ino's protests, was not her best color.

She sighed and stood up carefully, examining the damage. Like most shirts did when wet, her shirt was getting rather _see-through_, so there was no doubt that she had to change. Ignoring the other girls' snickers, she carefully unbuttoned her shirt and pants.

It was only after she was standing in the middle of the floor in her underwear did she realize something kinda important.

"Where's my bag?" she turned on her heel and stared at her suspicious friends with her hands on her hips.

"Well, you see, Tenten, my dare wasn't to lick the furnace duct..." Hinata started, and Ino and Sakura fell over laughing.

"Talk faster or I'll tie you to Naruto's bed and leave him a bad note." Tenten threatened, and Ino and Sakura laughed louder as Hinata turned beet-red.

"It was to take your bag." Hinata grinned maliciously and held up the green backpack.

Tenten scoffed. "There's a fatal flaw in your ingenious plan here. There's nothing in that backpack I need back anytime soon. I can just stay in this room in my wet clothes until they dry." she smirked.

"Oh, really? I guess I could read this _book_, then... even though it's clearly marked _diary-"_

"HYUGA HINATA!!!!"

"Eep!" Hinata slung the backpack over her shoulder and took off out the door, jumping down the stairs.

Tenten hesitated, well aware that she was in her underwear, but another taunt from Hinata- "Hey, Neji! I have a book for you to read!"- turned her face scarlet and sent her running without another thought.

"Give that back!" she plucked her diary out of Hinata's hands. "You are the most un-" she stopped mid-rant and stared at the other person in the hallway, whose entire face was unusually red.

"N-Neji!" she stuttered, glaring daggers at Hinata as she smirked. "I-I can explain... _this..._" she glanced down at herself self-conciously.

"S-sure..." _Did Neji just stutter?_ was the only thought running across Tenten's mind (that is, unless you count _Hinata is so dead_ and _please kill me now_ as thoughts...).

"I guess my work here is done..." Hinata smirked and tossed Tenten her bag, whispering into her ear, "Never bring Naruto-kun into a fight of ours."

"U-um..." Tenten blushed harder, holding her bag across her chest protectively. "I-I guess I'll go- eep!" she squeaked as Neji grabbed her arm and pulled her towards him and captured her lips in a kiss.

It lasted only a split second, but it seemed like forever to Tenten, and when they broke apart she was smiling, totally lost in dreamland.

"Sorry... I don't know what came over me..." Neji mumbled, blushing and turning around to leave. "By the way... you're really pretty." He tossed over his shoulder coolly before he walked off.

"T-thanks..." Tenten whispered, clutching her bag and starting up the stairs.

"Have I got a story for you tonight, diary..." she whispered, smiling.

_How many girls can say they got their first kiss in their underwear?_

**Well, there it is. The first story. One down, ninety-nine to go! I don't know whether to be excited or scared... I really don't know what I've gotten myself into. XD Oh well! It's done now, and I'm gonna have fun writing it! Oh, and if you want to help me a bit with story ideas, just leave me a couple words in your reviews. I might be able to turn it into a oneshot thingy for this. Please read and review! I'll try to update as much as I can!**


	2. Addictions

**A/N- I'm back!! Sorry about the long wait. I've been working on a lot of different stories, including the next couple chapters for this story, a Naruto/El Dorado crossover, an angsty Nejiten story, a St. Patrick's Day Team Gai and Nejiten (naturally), and a new Nejiten story called Serendipity (I have no idea how to spell that word... problem.) I'll post them up soon. Tell me if any of them sound interesting, and I may post it up sooner. Also, thank you to TwinDragonFire for reading my story beforehand. So, anywho, enjoy. **

**Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto. Plain and simple. If you think otherwise, check yourself into the mental ward. Now. -runs away-**

Addictions

People are well aware that Tenten has an addiction to chocolate.

So what about Neji?

Tenten was determined to find out.

"C'mon, Neji, sit down! I don't have any enemy ninjas waiting to kill you, promise!" she dragged him into the kitchen.

Nonetheless, Neji's eyes darted around the room nervously. "The last time I went into your kitchen, I left on a stretcher."

Tenten rolled her eyes and giggled nervously. "That was only one little hit on the head with a blender. I don't even have a blender anymore, promise." She tried to reassure him, but all he did was give her a skeptical look and allow her to push him onto a stool in front of her counter.

"Now then, we're going to find you something you like a lot. Please try not to choose anything I need to cook, because we all know how wonderfully things worked out last time." She opened a cupboard and started rummaging around, and Neji stared at her back suspiciously as she started muttering.

After about a minute of rummaging, she finally tossed something over her shoulder. "Here! Try this!"

Neji caught the jar with both hands, turning it around until he could read the label.

"Um, Tenten, could you throw me something else?"

"No! Eat it!" She screwed the cap off, plucked a big spoon into it, and shoved it into poor Neji's mouth. He gagged and tried to get to the sink, but Tenten hit him over the head with the spoon.

"C'mon, Neji, it's whipped cream! You need to learn to like at least some sweets!" she scolded, and Neji finally swallowed and grabbed a water bottle, promptly downing the whole thing.

"That wasn't whipped cream! That was mayonnaise!" He hissed back.

"Oh…" Tenten looked at the label, and sure enough, it didn't say 'whipped cream', but instead 'mayonnaise'. "Heh heh. Sorry 'bout that, Neji! I know how much you… hate… mayonnaise… oh. Oopsies." She grinned sheepishly at her furious teammate.

"Look at the labels before you make me eat something next time!" He grabbed another water bottle just in case she didn't remember next time.

"Fine, fine, sheesh!" She continued her rummaging, throwing things over her shoulder, one of them going over the floor and onto the counter right in front of Neji.

A chocolate bar.

Neji looked back at Tenten and, seeing that her back was turned, opened the wrapper just the tiniest bit…

"Drop it, Hyuga." Tenten's voice carried over to him, dripping with poison, and Neji threw the chocolate bar over his shoulder into the wall and put his hands in his lap like a good boy.

Scary image, huh?

"Try this. Ino loves it, maybe you will." She had gotten into the freezer while he was trying to eat her chocolate bar, and now she threw him a tub of ice cream, which scooted across the counter to land in front of him.

Neji glared at it like it was contagious. "I'm not like Ino." He simply stated, shoving it back across the counter easily.

"Neji, come on. One bite."

"No."

Tenten bit her lip and turned away to hide her disappointment. _I shouldn't have mentioned Ino. If he had tried it, he might've like it. _She turned around to face him again with a bag of marshmallows, blushing as another thought popped into her head.

_We could've gone out for ice cream together. _She sighed dreamily.

"Um, Tenten?" Neji waved a hand in front of her face, and she snapped back into reality.

"S-sorry! Here. Try one of these." Neji opened his mouth hesitantly, and Tenten plucked one into it. Neji made a face, and Tenten poked his cheeks insistently.

"Swallow! They're good!" She snapped, and Neji finally swallowed and stuck out his tongue when he was finished.

"Not marshmallows." Was all he said.

Tenten returned to her cabinet.

"Gummy bears?"

"Never."

"M & M's? No, wait, those are mine."

"Dang."

"My chocolate!" She snapped, spinning around with a wild look in her eyes.

"Fine! Fine! Your chocolate!" Neji jumped back, putting his hands up in surrender.

Tenten looked back at her cabinet, then sighed. "I think I'm out of sweets."

Neji opened his mouth…

And hiccupped.

He clapped his hand over his mouth immediately, and Tenten giggled.

"Wow, Neji, you hiccup like a girl!" She laughed, and Neji glared at her.

"Okay, okay, I'll help you get rid of them." She rolled her eyes, then reached back into her cupboard. "Here. Eat a big spoonful of this." She checked the label, just as he had requested, then tossed him a jar of peanut butter. Double-checking the label, Neji opened it up, grabbed a big spoon, dug it in, and took a big bite.

The change was immediate. The moment the peanut butter entered his mouth, his eyes widened, and he smiled as wide as Lee when he first had curry. He dug the spoon in again, taking another big spoonful and closing his eyes to savor the taste.

"Um, Neji?" Tenten stared at him as he starting tilting from side to side with his eyes closed, his mouth full of peanut butter and a satisfied goofy grin that was totally unlike him on his face. He dug the spoon in again, taking another mouthful, still swaying like listening to a slow song in his head.

Tenten stared at her teammate in horror, wondering where the real Neji had gone as he started talking to somebody who obviously wasn't her, his voice muffled with peanut butter sticking to the roof of his mouth.

"Whoa!" She rushed over and pushed him back into his chair as he tilted too far to one side, stunned when he swallowed his peanut butter and wrapped his arms around her neck.

"Thank you!" He said before he captured her lips in a kiss. Tenten froze, hands in midair, then closed her eyes and let her shoulders droop in complete happiness.

As soon as he pulled away, she opened her eyes back up. "So, is peanut butter the food that you love now?" she asked him sweetly, and Neji nodded, licking his lips.

"But I know something that's even better than peanut butter, and twice as addicting." He added.

Tenten glanced at him suspiciously. 'If it's chocolate, you'd better find something different right now." She told him, and he shook his head, leaning forward.

"Nope." He answered quietly, getting off his stool and standing up. "It's not a food." He advanced towards her, and she backed up with each step he took forward until she felt the wall behind her.

"Is this going where I think it's going?" she grinned, happily not able to go anywhere.

"Yes." Neji smirked and leaned down.

"You're my new addiction." Was all she heard before she was back in another peanut butter kiss with Neji.

**A/N- I don't know HOW I decided that Neji would be obsessed with peanut butter, but I'm glad I did. I love making Neji go ansane. I think I'll do it again sometime later... -evil grin- Run, Neji-kun, run. Heh heh. You're only safe until next chapter. I promise I won't make you wait as long. When I get ten more reviews, I'll post it up. Although, if I get ten reviews in a day you may have to wait a couple days still. My brain can only handle so much plot-making before it explodes.**

**Two down, ninety-eight to go!!! (it seems like so much more when you see it in text.)**

**Please review!! Reviewers get a cookie!!!!**


	3. Daycare

Daycare

"…Remind me again why we're here." Neji grumbled, glaring at the nearest munchkin until it ran away squealing for mommy.

"Mission, Neji. And stop scaring them. They're scared enough of your eyes." Tenten reminded him, rolling her eyes and running off to comfort the little girl that Neji had scared off.

"At least Hanabi's not here anymore. I would rather fail the mission than take care of her." He muttered, and Lee shrugged his shoulders.

"I am glad, too, but I would not fail the mission if she were here. I will do my best!!! I will complete the mission perfectly!!! By the power of everything youthful and happy!!! And if I do not I will run five hundred laps around Konoha with you and Tenten!!!!" Lee pumped his fist in the air, and a little boy who had wandered over to the strange monster in green screamed and ran away in the opposite direction, wailing at the top of his little lungs.

"…I'm going to go deaf before the end of today." Neji rubbed his head.

"Argh! I told you to stop scaring them!!" Tenten jogged over to the little boy. "Stop crying. It's okay. It's a person, just like you. Only bigger, louder, and in the worst type of clothing ever created." She soothed, and Lee looked downcast.

"W-will I be like him when I get bigger?" He simpered, and Tenten sighed, casting a backwards glance at Lee, who was crying waterfalls about the poor kids' unyouthfulness, while Neji glared at him and everyone else who came within ten feet of him.

"We can only hope not. One of him is enough trouble." She replied, and the kid smiled again, reassured, while Lee cried even harder because of his own teammate's betrayal of youth.

Before Neji or Lee could respond or scare anybody else off, the woman in the front of the room clapped her hands. "Alright, everybody, listen up. These are Neji, Tenten, and Lee." She gestured to them, and Tenten waved cheerfully, while Lee and Neji glared at each other, ignoring the kids.

"They will be here to watch you. Please, treat them better than you did the last ones." She continued, casting a warning eye around the room. "I'm off to my doctor's appointment. Be good." She waved and hurried out the door. "Good luck!"

"Good luck? What does that mean?" Neji wondered aloud. Then he caught sight of the kids and gulped. They had all scooted closer while the woman was talking, and now they were surrounded by all the little kids in the room. A couple of the kids were armed with markers and scissors, while others had assorted ropes, hair ties, make-up, and blankets.

"Um, I think I know what she meant." Lee nervously scooted back. "And we are not allowed to hurt them, either…"

"Dang, and I wanted to go kiddie bowling." Neji growled. He tried glaring at them to scare them into going away, but they didn't even flinch. Apparently they weren't really scared of them, but were instead faking it to make them seem harmless.

Obviously, they really weren't.

"U-um…" Tenten nervously scooted behind Neji. "H-hi."

"Get 'em!" One of them holding a blanket cried. Instantly, there were blankets thrown over their heads, bathrobe ropes tying their arms down, and twelve little kids on all of them.

Oh crap.

"Tenten, can I please just do Kaiten? It'd seem like they were just on a really powerful merry-go-round, only with no seats and no guarantees of living after the ride's over." Neji growled from underneath his blanket mask.

"No, Neji! You must not hurt the kids! It is part of the mission rules!" Lee cried.

"Screw the mission rules! Get these stupid kids off of me! I already know what they're going to do, and you're not going to like it one bit!!!" Neji exploded.

Tenten sighed. "Please don't tell me they're going to-"

"Yes they are."

"…We are so screwed." Lee muttered.

Oh, if only he hadn't been right, they might still have their sanity…

"Ooh! He needs another barrette!" Neji flinched as another flower barrette found its way into his hair, followed by a sticker that found its place on his nose. He looked over at Tenten, who had a rag in her mouth because she wouldn't stop yelling threats at them and hair ties all over her head. Oh his other side, Lee was crying as they tried to pluck his eyebrows (he had to thank them for that) and put mascara on him.

"Get off of me. Right. Now." He growled at the little girl on his lap putting stickers all over his face.

"But you need to look pretty!" she replied, sticking a crescent moon sticker onto his cheek and a pretty star on his nose.

Great. He had the solar system on his face.

"No I don't."

The little toddler ignored him and stuck a butterfly pin in his hair.

"Stop it! Enough is enough!" He jerked his head over as he heard Tenten exploding at the little kids playing with her hair. Apparently she got the rag out of her mouth.

"But you need to play with us." One of them whined, and Neji cringed. Tenten couldn't yell at a simpering little kid. Ever.

"Play with you, not be a mannequin for you to play with!" She shot back.

Apparently when her patience is gone, she will do anything.

Neji started and would've slapped himself if he'd had access to his hands. Of course! He and Tenten would scare them away. As soon as they were off of him, he could certainly get out of the ropes/silly string.

"Tenten!" He called out, almost cringing at his tone of voice: teasing. "You know I'm the only one who can play with you!" To his satisfaction, Tenten giggled, and the little kids looked scandalized.

"You shouldn't say that!" The little girl scolded, and Neji shrugged nonchalantly, glad the little girl had understood its meaning.

"It's fine for us older kids." Tenten emphasized the word. "It's called flirting." She batted her eyelashes at Neji, and he could feel his face going about five shades darker.

And it wasn't just part of the act, either.

"Y-yeah. Tenten is a bad girl." He stammered, turning steadily redder.

"S-stop it! Stop it!" They looked disgusted, and all the boys who had been playing with Tenten's hair stepped away nervously as she sent love-struck stares in Neji's direction.

As soon as the boys were gone, Tenten reached her hand behind her back and took out a kunai and cut the rope. She slowly stood up, the girls staring at her like she had gone insane. She waltzed over to Neji, and the other kids stepped away nervously.

"Hello, Neji-kun." She grinned coyly, winking and deftly cutting the rope.

"What are you doing? He has cooties!" One of the girls squealed, and Neji's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"W-what are you doing? I'm already free." He stammered into her ear, and she giggled softly.

"Think, Neji. You're the genius who came up with this plan." She whispered. "If they're scared of me flirting, they'll leave us alone all day if we…" she paused. "Kiss."

"U-um…" Neji's eyes darted around wildly. "S-sure."

"What's with the stuttering? It's just an act." Tenten giggled again, then paused.

"Right?"

"Not completely." Neji answered slowly. Tenten blinked, and then wrapped her arms tighter around his neck, and Neji froze. Was she going to strangle him?

Then she giggled again. "Then it's your lucky day, Neji-kun." She moved around to stand in front of him, where the kids could clearly see them, then not-so-gently kissed him.

The change was immediate. Cries of "Ew!" and "Now they have cooties!" echoed from around the room, and they all scooted away nervously.

But hey, that was just a bonus for Neji. The highlight of his day was the kiss.

Tenten finally pulled away from him, standing up, and the kids gasped. "She has cooties! They both have cooties!"

Neji smirked, an idea forming. "So, how long do we have cooties?" He asked them.

"For five minutes! You have cooties for five minutes!" A little girl squeaked, backing away nervously.

"Don't touch us, or you'll get cooties, too!" Tenten grinned, experimentally reaching out to touch a little boy, smirking in satisfaction as he backed away immediately. With a few glances and mutters, they wandered away to go do their own things.

"Wait a minute. They're only going to leave us alone for five minutes unless we kiss again." Tenten blushed. "Not that I really mind…" Lee joined them with suspicious glances and only one and a half eyebrows.

"And we're going to be here for at least twelve more hours, so…" Neji tried to figure out the math in his head, but he couldn't quite focus.

"So what does that equal?" Tenten asked, and Neji smirked.

"One happy Neji." Lee answered, rolling his eyes at his two teammates' antics.

"Neji! Lee! Tenten! Your mission is over! You can-" Gai stopped in surprise as he actually caught sight of his team.

Lee only had half of one of his eyebrows, and there were black streaks all over his spandex suit. Neji had star and moon shapes outlined on his face, and his hair was frizzy and sticking out in random directions. Tenten had smeared lipstick on, and her hair was unevenly wavy.

And they all looked like they wanted to kill somebody.

"Um…"

"Ready to go, Gai-sensei. Right, Neji, Tenten?" Lee poked Neji and Tenten, and they blushed.

"Why wouldn't we be ready to go?" Tenten asked shyly.

"Yes, why wouldn't they be ready to go?" Gai looked curiously at him.

"Well, they would not mind having this mission again…" Lee looked pointedly at them, and Tenten shook her head furiously.

"Nope! This was a good mission!" She chirped, nudging Neji, who shook his head too, wiping his mouth (was that _lipstick _on his hand?!).

"My lips are numb…" He mumbled, and Tenten blushed furiously, fingering her own lips in embarrassment.

Gai just stared.

_Weirdest mission ending ever…_


	4. Imaginary Friend

**A/N- Finally! I finished this weeks ago, but I couldn't find the motivation to type it up. Meh. I don't know how I came up with this random an idea, but what the heck. Enjoy! Please read and review!**

Imaginary Friend

Neji twitched at Tenten spun around the floor.

He always knew, with mood swings and PMS-ing, that kunoichi (namely Tenten) were strange creatures, but _this_ certainly took the cake.

"Would you like to go shopping later?" she cheerfully asked the 'boy' next to her, grinning playfully.

Besides the flirty attitude, it would've been almost normal Tenten behavior.

Except for the fact that there was nobody there.

"Scary, isn't it?" Hinata whispered to him. "She's been at it for almost an hour."

Neji shuddered. "She actually thinks somebody is _talking_ to her?" He asked in disbelief.

Hinata nodded. "Apparently so. She's either delusional, under a genjutsu… or she still has imaginary friends."

"Okay…" Neji shuddered as his teammate hugged the air. "I'm going to go try to talk to her, see if she responds."

"Good luck. We've been yelling at her for half an hour and no such luck." She responded, watching him cautiously approach his teammate with a tiny grin. She shook her head and slowly backed out of the room.

_He is so screwed._

"Um, Tenten?" Neji cautiously inched towards her, unsure what somebody in a genjutsu would do when approached.

"Oh, I love your hair!" She cooed, ignorant of his approach. "So _stylin_'! Ponytail is so your hairstyle. You look like a prince! Almost as hot as _him_…" She giggled, blushing.

Neji twitched. _Who is 'him'? I'll- wait! Not jealous! Not!_

"Um, Tenten!" He tried again. "It's me, Neji!"

"Oh, please!" She giggled without turning around. "You're not Neji!"

"What?" Neji blinked. "Yes I-"

"No you're not, silly! You look like Neji, but of course you're not _really_. Neji's very different from you… in a good way, too!"

_She must be talking to her friend, who looks like me but doesn't act like me._ He considered calling out to her again, but he kept his mouth closed, listening to her talk.

Dang it, now he was interested.

"Well, for one thing you can't fight. Every time you touch a kunai you disappear. I- yes you do!" She laughed, smacking the air though attempting to hit her friend's shoulder playfully. "Now, Neji… wow! He's _incredible_! I don't care if I don't get up to be as good as Tsunade, truthfully. I'll settle for as good as Neji! He _never_ fails to amaze me!"

Neji blinked. _She really thinks that highly of me?_ Insert Inner Neji's- "_Heck yes! I pwn all! I am the master of the universe!_" …outburst.

"Oh, and don't even get me _started_ on personality! Oh, my…" she put her hand over her heart and fluttered her eyelashes, and Neji gulped nervously. _She has so lost it, flirting with an imaginary boy who looks like me…_

"He is just so…" Neji closed his eyes, bracing himself for the worst. _Stubborn, arrogant, infuriating, take your pick. Just say something…_

"Awesome!"

Neji's eyes shot open, and he blinked in confusion. _She's gone insane… _

"He just has a personality all his own- just the right amount of confidence, attitude, caring, and determination to make him just _irresistible_!" She squealed, clasping her hands over her heart.

Neji's eyes opened wider in shock. _Did she just call me irresistible?! The only 'I' word I expected was infuriating, like she always tells me I am!_

"Of course I guess he doesn't know what I think of him. I have to call him 'infuriating' all the time." She sighed in exasperation. "It really drives me nuts. I only do it so my team doesn't split in half due to differences or playing favorites, although I'd side with Neji on an argument in a heartbeat…"

Neji blinked. _Wow…_

"Oh, and looks! Oh…" She fanned herself with a palm. "I know you look like Neji, but _nothing_ can beat how the real one looks. He is HOT!"

Neji's bottom jaw just about detached from his face and fell to the floor. _She's a fangirl, too?!_

"Those eyes… oh, so gorgeous! I feel like I'm looking at the moon! And his hair is so long, and silky…"

Neji shuddered_. How does she know this?_

"He doesn't know it, but whenever he takes a nap I just stroke his hair while he sleeps. He never wakes up." She giggled.

_So that's why I always wake up on her lap… I knew I didn't fall over that often!_

"Oh, don't look so insulted. I'm well aware you look like him, but you're always smiling without _really_ smiling. Neji smirks more than he smiles, but I don't care. I love bad boys!"

Neji blushed considerably. _Bad thoughts, bad thoughts!_ He chanted over Inner Neji yelling "_All right! I'm a hot bad boy! I'm_-" Gonna stop there.

"Not that I mind when he really _does_ smile. When he really did smile at me, just for a second, I swear my heart stopped beating! Oh, he looked like a _dream_!"

_Note to self: Smile more often. Tenten loves it._

"So, yeah. You've got a long way to go before you can be a second Neji… wait, what? You have a surprise? For _me_?! Oh, I'm _flattered_!" She batted her eyelashes at thin air, and Neji sighed. _Looks like the show's over… time to bring Tenten out of Lalaland…_

"I can't- no!" She gasped dramatically. "You can- you can do that?! Oh, you're the _best!_ I- okay!" She closed her eyes and spun around in circles.

Neji blinked. She's lost it… He rolled his eyes, moving forward. "Tenten…"

She stopped spinning, blinking and swaying unsteadily. "Okay… what was the point of this?" She tried to step forward, but instead tumbled into Neji's arms. She raised her eyes up enough to see his face and popped up immediately, face enflamed in scarlet.

"N-N-N-N-N-Neji..." She stammered, folding her hands behind her back, eyes looking everywhere but the object of her affection. "I-I… uh… you… no… me… he…" She babbled randomly as she pointed aimlessly in different directions.

"So…" Neji wandered slowly up to her, smirking, well aware of his position of power. "You have a strange love life, Tenten."

Tenten laughed nervously. "Oh… t-that? You… you heard that?" She sighed as he nodded. "Well, go ahead."

"Go ahead with what?" He blinked, moving forward until he was about a foot away.

"You know you want to ki-"Neji cut her off with his lips, and she froze, her whole face going scarlet and eyes wide.

"Why yes, I did want to kiss you." He smirked.

Tenten blinked. "Not quite what I was going to say, but hey, I'm not complaining." She grinned. "Sorry about the fangirling, Neji. I swear I don't stalk you, but I did mean all that I said." She blushed. "Including the playing with your hair while you're asleep part."

Neji shrugged. "I honestly think that's what kept me asleep." He turned away. "Want to go hang out at the training grounds?"

"Okay!" Tenten grinned, grabbing his hand, and tugging him behind her. "Thanks!" She waved over her shoulder.

Neji followed her gaze, and he almost thought he saw a reflection. He blinked, and it was gone.

"Neji!" He shrugged it off and walked out the room with Tenten.

_There was nobody there…_

_Right? _

**A/N- Alright, I'll admit it, I have an imaginary friend. Well, actually, she's a faerie, and she likes explosives and sharp pointy things, and she lives inside, and whenever somebody smacks me she yells 'Earthquake!' and goes into the fetal position. Yeah. I'm just a five year old trapped inside a fourteen year old's body. (As if my fanfictions didn't prove that already...-.-') Anyway, please review and say hi to Bill, Tenten's imaginary friend! (Happy, Alli?)**


	5. Distraction

**A/N- I'm back! -sparkly confetti and trumpet fanfare- Sorry it took so long, but I have like, twenty fanfictions I'm working on. I just got issued a challenge to finish this within the year, though, so I'm gonna have to work faster. Oh, and please give me random words so I can turn them into oneshots. If I need to, I can post up serious ones, songfics, holiday ones, etc. But I want to keep it all true oneshots like this one. And I only have 28 ideas formed. So, yeah. This fanfiction is for all of you Neji fangirls! I love him so much. But I love Nejiten more. So there. I have pride. XD Please read and review!**

Distraction

"Whew!" Tenten plopped down on the ground, satisfied when Neji followed her lead. At least she wasn't embarrassing herself by being exhausted when they had barely been training for an hour.

"I hate to say it, but I'm tired." Neji admitted next to her, taking his water bottle and gulping it down greedily.

Tenten smirked. "I have waited two years to hear you say that." She took up her own water bottle and halfway emptied it. "But I hadn't expected to be saying it with you."

"Me either."

"You egotastic idiot."

"You know you don't mean that." He gave her an amused glance, and she knew that if she tried to deny it, her smile would give her away.

"…Point proven." She folded her arms.

Neji looked up at the blue, cloudless sky. "It must be this heat that's exhausting us."

"Oh, there HAS to be an excuse. Because Neji Hyuga is _never_ tired when his teammate is tired. So there has to be some secret to her actually being on the same level as the _awesome_ him." Tenten mocked, seriously annoyed.

"Tenten. It's 94 degrees." Neji deadpanned.

Tenten turned to look at him. "Are you serious?"

Neji nodded and pointed to the thermometer that was hanging on the tree across from where they were resting. Sure enough, the red liquid was almost to the 95 mark.

Tenten huffed. Of course, the thermometer. Outsmarted AGAIN by Neji.

_Wow. Twice in two minutes I've made myself look stupid. I must be trying to outdo Naruto or something…_

"That's unusually high for spring." She tried to cover up her stupidity, and fortunately Neji just nodded and turned away.

"So, Captain Obvious, got a suggestion as to how to beat the heat?" Tenten asked him. She really wanted to kill something right now, and, unfortunately, Neji was the only thing she could see to pelt with kunai.

"Well…" Neji looked lost in thought for a moment, then, to Tenten's surprise, he blushed. "Um… I've got a suggestion, but…"

"But what?" Tenten blinked in confusion.

"I'm only going to tell you if you promise not to… overreact." He picked the last word carefully, still avoiding eye contact.

"Um… sure." Tenten tried to keep her grin in place, but this was all getting very suspicious. "What is it?"

"Well… we could… remove some layers of clothing." Neji finished.

Tenten's jaw dropped, and she could barely restrain herself from shouting "PERVERT!" at the top of her lungs. Instead, all that came out was an insecure "W-what?"

"It was just logic! Er, a suggestion! I-I mean, a logical solution!" Neji waved his hands around, still beet-red, at her reaction.

Tenten studied him freaking out with a slight smile. Now THIS was quality entertainment.

He finally turned to her. "So?"

"What do you mean, 'so?'" Tenten snapped. "No, of course! I would rather die of heat stroke than 'remove some layers' or whatever you called that perverted little suggestion of yours!"

Neji turned five shades darker. "It wasn't a perverted suggestion, it was the only way I could think of not to overheat while training."

"How about jumping in the river? You first." Tenten poured some water onto her palm and pressed it to her forehead instead of following her own smart-alecky advice.

"You know, unless you want to train in soaking wet clothes, you'd still have to follow my advice." Neji smirked in triumph.

Tenten opened her mouth, then closed it in annoyance. _Dang him and his logic…_

"And," Neji continued at her silence. "If you jumped in with your clothes, -which I don't think you'd do-, you would be incredibly sore tomorrow, and you'd leave a trail everywhere you tried to hide, and your weapons would rust unless you dried off separately each of the thousand-something you use, and as soon as you dried off you'd be hot again, and-"

"Okay, okay! I got it!" Tenten covered his mouth irritably. "My idea was stupid, I got it already!" She took a deep breath to calm herself.

"Mmfph!" Neji glared at her.

"Oh, right!" Tenten hurriedly removed her hand, and Neji rubbed his mouth with the back of his own hand.

"Now, are we going to train or not? Because if you're not, I guess we can go home." Neji looked at her meaningly, and Tenten sighed.

"Fine. But I am NOT going to follow your suggestion. As I said before, I'd rather die of heat stroke than do that." She glared at him, and, just as she expected, he simply nodded.

"Suit yourself." He stood up, and Tenten glanced at him suspiciously as he unbuttoned his shirt.

"U-uh… w-what are you d-doing?" She cursed herself for stuttering.

"Cooling down." He answered, shrugging off his jacket to show a very well-muscled stomach.

Tenten gawked, then shook her head to clear away the fangirl thoughts that came to mind. "U-uh! I- Let's start." She sighed and stood up, rolling up her pant legs so she wouldn't be doomed to overheat again.

"Okay." Neji tossed his shirt aside against the tree casually and shifted into a fighting stance. "Let's start then."

"Huh? Oh, right." Tenten shook her head to clear her thoughts (again) and picked out a kunai. "Go ahead and start."

Neji raised an eyebrow, but said nothing and threw a kunai. It knocked her kunai clean out of her hand.

She started in surprise. She had seen him, of course, but she was more watching just… him, not what he was doing.

"I thought you were ready." Neji smirked, and Tenten blinked, then narrowed her eyes and vowed not to be distracted by his being shirtless again.

"Now I am." She picked up her kunai again, twirling it around her pinky finger.

"Your move."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

"Ah!" Tenten's kunai fell out of her hand again, and she sighed.

"Are you okay? You're really out of it." Neji blinked, picking it up and tossing it to her again, becoming increasingly alarmed when she barely grabbed for it, instead just letting it fall to the ground with her eyes on him.

"Huh?" She shook herself out of her thoughts (which mostly included 'I love how his skin glistens'.)

"See? You're like, sleepwalking." Neji moved forward, and she blushed as he waved a hand in front of her face. Caught.

"U-uh… I'm f-fine, really, Neji-kun." She turned twelve shades darker. _Why does my inner self have to call him Neji-kun all the time?! Now I said it, and Neji's going to get really suspicious, really fast..._

Sure enough, Neji's eyebrows shot up. "Why did you call me that?" He looked at her in confusion.

"N-no reason…" She laughed nervously, backing up into a tree, hands held up in surrender. "I-I'm just k-kinda out of it…"

"Oh, really?" Neji smirked. "I hadn't noticed. You're not usually this slow."

Tenten snapped out of her fangirling trance instantly. "Slow? Did you just call me slow?"

"Why, yes I did." Neji nodded, and Tenten glared at him.

"I am NOT slow! In fact, it's your fault I've been out of it all day!" She pointed at him accusingly, and he looked confused.

"My fault?" He echoed in confusion.

"Yes, your fault! Because if you hadn't decided that we had to take some clothes off to beat the heat and keep training, you wouldn't have taken your shirt off! And the only reason that I was out of it today was because I was distracted by the fact that you're so hot!" She ranted, confused by the shocked look that came over his face immediately as she finished.

Recap of what she said…

_I was distracted by the fact that you're so hot._

"Eep!" Tenten clapped a hand over her mouth as she realized what she said. _I am so screwed for the rest of my life._

By the time Neji walked over to her and took her hand off her mouth for her, she was already babbling excuses. "I-I didn't mean that, Neji-kun! I-I mean Neji! Just Neji! I-I swear I have n-no idea why I-I-" Neji sighed and met her lips with his without a word.

Tenten's eyes widened as if she'd just seen a ghost, but she mentally shrugged and just closed her eyes. _I am so happy I could just DIE…_

"So…" Neji murmured, pulling back. "I take it you enjoyed that?"

Tenten's eyes snapped open. "U-uh… yes?" She blushed and grinned sheepishly. "You're a pretty good kisser, Neji."

Neji shrugged. "I guess it's one of my many talents." He smiled down at her teasingly. "Right along with being hot."

"You are shameless." Tenten shot back, flicking his ponytail over his shoulder.

"You were the one thinking I was hot." Neji retorted. "I don't think I even want to know what else you were thinking of."

Tenten blushed brilliant red. "You pervert! That's it!" She protested, and Neji chuckled.

"I know. I just wanted to see you blush again." He told her, and Tenten grinned.

"You know, you are very much hotter when you smile without a shirt on." She teased him, and he laughed.

"I know I am."

Tenten laughed at his bluntness.

_Alright for inner fangirling! I just won myself a new boyfriend with it!_

**A/N- Alright for inner fangirling! But I can't win a boyfriend with it. I'd just have them think I'm a stalker. So, yeah. **

**Review for a piece of cake! Because cake ish teh bestest food in the world! (Besides chocolate.)**


	6. Magazine

**A/N- Alright! Next chapter! A special thank you to WeaponsMistress, kiniro no hana, and Wolfie559933 for your words. I think I can turn them into ideas! I'll try to get them up soon, but I kinda never work on things in order. So you may have to wait a while. Sorry. T.T Anywho, I don't know how or where this idea came from, but I've always been addicted to magazines, so, yeah. I wish I was Tenten in this story. (well, actually, I wish that a lot, cause then I would be with Neji... Don't look at me like I'm insane! I know I'm not the only one out there! Neji AND Nejiten fangirl! Oh yeah! XD)**

**Please read and review! Enjoy!**

Magazine

"Hm…" Tenten flipped through the magazine on her bed, casually waving her feet above her pillow, deep in concentration. "No…" she ran a finger along the only-a-day-old-but-already-well-used page, pausing on a blue kimono with a butterfly on the sash.

"Ooh!" She brightened. "That looks pretty! Don't you think, Keiko?" She smiled at the gray kitten as he jumped up onto her bed, purring and rubbing the side of his face on her arm.

"Wonder how much it- oh crap." Tenten smacked the pillow with her bare foot in agitation. "I always go for the splurge items!" She sighed. "I could get so many kunai for two hundred dollars it's not even funny."

"Let's see what else there is, Keiko!" She smiled brightly, and turned the page.

Shoes.

"Tenten!" Her door swung open, accompanied with shouts that she identified as belonging to Hinata, Sakura, and Ino.

"In my room!" She yelled out, causing Keiko to jump off her bed and crawl underneath it instead.

"I can't say I blame you. I would follow you, but they already know I'm here." Tenten sighed.

Honestly, no matter how fun those girls could be to hang out with, when confronted with a magazine, they were ferocious.

"Hey, Tenten!" Sakura bustled through her door, bearing a handful of shopping bags that swung treacherously on her palms, obviously full of something.

_Probably,_ Tenten thought with a shudder, _shoes. How does Ino's dad stay out of debt with that girl's shopping habits?_

"Hello." She answered brightly, swinging her legs over the side of the bed. "I don't recall ordering any groceries, though. You can return those to the store. I apologize for any inconvenience." She laughed as Sakura looked confused for a second before laughing along with Hinata and Ino, who had come through the door after her, also carrying almost overflowing bags full of useless crap that Ino thought was useful.

"So, spill. What's in all those bags that you felt the need to bring in and clutter up my nice, CLEAN room?" Tenten pointedly directed the question to Ino, not surprised when she didn't even bother to look guilty about the fact that, once again, Tenten's room was a mess.

"Clothes, shoes, makeup, hair stuff, accessories, magazines, jewelry, purses…" Ino checked the items off on her fingers, smiling brightly. "The usual."

Hinata nodded. "I think you outdid yourself, Ino." She groaned, lowering her bags to the ground. "We just about killed that cashier." She leaned back to stretch out her back and arms, and Tenten flinched as two of the bags fell over, spilling eyeshadow cases, shimmery lip gloss, and a hair curler.

_They try to use __anything__ from these bags on me, and I will kick their butts, no questions asked._

"C'mon, Tenten! Check out this cute top we got for you!" Sakura's words voiced her fears perfectly, and she crossed her arms.

"If it's a spaghetti strap shirt again, I am not going to put it on." She snapped, but Hinata shook her head reassuringly.

"No, we thought you would say that. So it's got a high collar, just like you always wear. Only in a new color." She reached into one of the bags, tossing out a couple of bikini tops onto the floor while trying to find it.

"Hey! Hey! Don't hurt my babies!" Ino cried, scooping them up and cuddling them to her lovingly.

Sakura, Hinata, and Tenten all just stared at her.

"Your _what?!_" Tenten put her hands on her hips. "I always told you guys shopping liquidates both your wallet _and _your mind. Well, here's proof."

"Ha ha. You're lucky I brought you anything at all, and one more negative remark about my shopping habits and I'll never bring you back anything ever again." Ino deadpanned, huffing and putting her swimsuits back into a bag.

"I'll consider if that's a threat or not after I see what you got me." Tenten shot back, shifting out of the way so Hinata and Sakura could look in different bags.

"Well, found it." Sakura triumphantly threw it onto Tenten's face, and all she could see was a baby blue hue. "Decide for yourself."

Tenten pulled the shirt off of her face, holding it up. Just as Hinata had promised, there was a high collar that resembled the one on her own shirts. But this one was a nice light blue color, with short sleeves with blue ribbon on the edge.

"Ooh!" Her eyes lit up, and she leaned over to hug Ino. "You guys sure know what I like!"

Ino giggled. "But of course. And we figured out that with a little blue eyeshadow… Nothing too dramatic, Tenten, promise-" Tenten relaxed slightly. "-It would go great with your hair and eyes."

"Thanks, guys! I really like blue clothes today, apparently." She stepped over a bag to pick up the magazine that lay forgotten on her bed, flipping it back a page and holding it up.

"I really liked this dress. What do you think, oh high and mighty fashion consultants?" She pointed to the splurge item with a finger. Ino, Sakura, and Hinata leaned forward to see, interested.

Sakura whistled. "That is gorgeous, Tenten!" She shook her head. "But don't you think it's a little much?" She added.

"Yeah, I know. But you never end up getting anything in magazines, anyways- unless you're Ino, of course." Tenten sighed, flipping the magazine shut.

Hinata nodded, a thoughtful look in her eyes. "So, you really want that dress?" She asked, and Tenten nodded.

"It's so pretty." She sighed, then brightened. "But I love my shirt! I'm gonna go change into it right now!" She grabbed her new shirt and ran off to the bathroom to change clothes in privacy.

By the time she got back to her room wearing her new top, her room was mostly cleaned up of Ino's new possessions. Sakura was reading her magazine, Ino was putting a pen back on her desk, and Hinata was stuffing the rest of the stuff into a random shopping bag.

"Tada!" She spread out her arms to present herself, and the girls applauded in approval.

"Oh, it's so beautiful on you, Tenten! That color totally flatters your skin, and you look really skinny! What size is that?" Sakura stood up and checked her tag for her, and she blushed under the praise.

"Size six. Dang, you're skinny!" Sakura exclaimed, and Ino retrieved the pen and wrote something on her hand.

"Ino, what are you writing?" Tenten eyed her suspiciously, and Ino laughed sheepishly and put the pen back on the table.

"Your size. For when we next get you something." She explained, and Tenten nodded understandingly.

"C'mon, girls. We should go get this stuff to Ino's before it gets too dark." Hinata spoke up now, picking up half a dozen bags with a little grunt. "See you tomorrow, Tenten. Hope you like your new shirt." She smiled, and Sakura and Ino followed her lead with knowing grins.

Tenten nodded and turned away as they let themselves out the front door. "I wonder what was up with them…" She muttered to herself.

XCXCXCXCXCXCXCXCXCXCX

A loud knocking sounded on her door, jolting Tenten out of sleep.

"What the… what time is it?" She groggily moved the covers off of her, disrupting Keiko's sleeping on her, and stepped out onto her floor.

Yawning, she trudged over to her front door, looking through the peephole to see who the heck DARED disturb her on the one day that she could sleep in.

There was nobody there.

Tenten shrugged and walked off. _Stupid kids playing pranks on me. Good thing they ran away, cause I would've lost it and kicked them into next week…_

But after she had gotten herself breakfast and gotten dressed in her new blue top, when she headed outside, she stubbed her toe on something.

"Ouch!" She bent down to tend to it, and found a package right in front of it.

She blinked. _That must've been what whoever knocked earlier left for me! _

She turned it over to see the tags and froze. She rubbed her eyes and pinched herself and tried to release genjutsu, but nothing worked. The tag was real.

It read: "To Tenten. From Neji."

_Wow. I wonder what Neji needed to give me so badly he couldn't wait for an hour and a half to see me at training. _She gingerly took the box just inside her house and cut the paper with a kunai.

She opened up the box…

Inside was the pretty blue dress she had wanted.

Tenten's breath caught in her throat. She picked it up out of the box and tried it out against herself.

Exactly her size.

Ecstatic, she tucked it under her arm and ran all the way to the training grounds.

"Neji!" Tenten ran into the training grounds.

"Hn?" Neji looked up from where he was sharpening his kunai with a look of casual interest, his eyes widening when he saw the blue dress slung over her arm.

"Thank you!" She flung her arms around his neck. He froze and dropped his kunai in shock, his eyes widening and his face taking on a nice crimson hue.

After a few seconds, she let go, smiling brightly. "I love it!" She held it up to herself so he could see.

Neji's jaw dropped, then he shook himself. "Very nice." He simply stated, averting his eyes. "But I didn't get it for you."

Tenten stared at him, almost dropping her new kimono in shock. "W-what? But…"

Loud laughter erupted from the bushes next to them, and both embarrassed teens jerked their heads over to see Ino, Sakura, and Hinata drag themselves out of the plants, laughing hysterically.

"That turned out even better than I had hoped!" Ino choked out. "The look on Neji's face was absolutely priceless!"

"I know!" Hinata wiped a tear from her eye. "I wish I'd had a camera with me!"

"Oh, yeah! Naruto and Lee would've paid hundreds for a picture like that!" Sakura agreed, doubled over in fits of laughter.

"Blackmail!" All three chorused, erupting in fresh laughter.

Tenten narrowed her eyes, still beet-red in embarrassment. "You guys sent it to me!" She accused.

Hinata nodded. "Yep. We saw how much you wanted that dress, so we got it from the store that magazine came from after we left your house." She grinned evilly. "Then we put Neji's name on the package."

Tenten put her hands on her hips dangerously. "You have one second to run." She hissed.

Sakura didn't need to be told twice. She gulped nervously and grabbed Ino's and Hinata's arms, running away as fast as she could.

Tenten sighed. "Sorry, Neji." She blushed again. _I just hugged Neji for no reason! Those girls are so dead when I get my hands on them!_

"It's okay." Neji rubbed the back of his neck. "I was just surprised, that's all." He got to his feet casually, picking his kunai back up and putting it in his bag.

"Yeah, I know. I just didn't think they would put your name on a package you didn't even know about."

"Who said I didn't know about it?" Neji countered, and Tenten blinked in confusion.

"But you just said…"

"They sent it to you, but… I paid for it." Neji admitted sheepishly.

Tenten's jaw dropped. "But that was a two hundred dollar dress!"

Neji shrugged it off modestly. "I don't really use money that much. I heard them talking about where they were going to get two hundred dollars to buy a dress for you, and I offered to give it to them."

Tenten smiled. "That's so nice, Neji!"

He shrugged again, looking embarrassed.

She set the dress carefully on the dry ground, standing back up with a happy smile.

"You're the best!" She wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned up to kiss his lips. He looked slightly surprised, but only for a second before he kissed her back.

Tenten finally stood flat-footed again, lowering her arms back to her sides. "Thanks."

"No problem." Neji looked rather dazed for a moment, then his vision cleared.

"So…" Tenten picked back up the blue dress.

"Why don't you change into it?" Neji suggested, grinning tauntingly.

Tenten blushed bright red again. "Not here! You're here!"

"I'll turn around." Neji turned so his back was to her, but she saw him tense up, and then jerk his head up slightly.

Tenten sighed and undid her sandal strap, then kicked, sending it flying into the back of Neji's head.

"Ow!" He spun around, rubbing the back of his head with a pout that Tenten thought was absolutely adorable.

"Nice try, you pervert. Deactivate the byakugan before somebody gets hurt." Tenten snapped.

"Fine." Neji rolled his eyes and turned back around.

Tenten grinned, then looked down at her dress and sighed.

She just remembered how low it was cut.

_Looks like Neji wins anyways…_

**...Wow. That's the longest one yet. Soon they're going to be like, five thousand words a chapter. Oh my poor computer. I really pity it. XD Neji is a pervert in like, all of my stories. I don't know why, it just makes the story interesting. Oh, and before you ask, there HAS to be a kiss in each oneshot. Cause the kisses are awesomeness. And hot. XP I appreciate words if you can think of something off the top of your head, but I've got a lot of them that I already have all planned out but just haven't sat my butt down and written yet. I have like, no patience. That's why it takes so long for me to update. I have a very short attention span... OOH! A LEAF!_ ... _Yeah. Point proven.**

**If you actually read all that, you are awesomeness. XD**

**Review, all of my evil minions! -smack- I mean, fellow Nejiten fans!**


	7. Cake

**A/N- OMG I LIVE!! -dodges flying objects- Um, yeah... I could insert a generic excuse here, but instead I'm just going to apologize and beg for your forgiveness. -gets down on knees- I'M SORRY!!!!**

**Also, I'm going to give you all a heads-up about the direction this collection is going. So far, I've stuck with a theme for myself. (Must kiss, must be pre-timeskip, must be complete crack, must be not-dating...) I'm going to not be so strict on the content, and then I'll be able to upload more. Sound good? ^^**

**I'm trying something new with this one, so please review at the end and tell me what you think of it! Enjoy!**

"Argh!"

Neji looked up in the direction of Tenten's house, partially worried and partially just plain out scared.

When Tenten started yelling when she was in her house by herself, it meant one of three things.

One- she had been practicing with weapons in her house- which wasn't smart, but hey, she didn't care. Her weapons were her babies- And she had cut herself badly and needed medical attention immediately.

Two- she was being attacked by enemy ninja and was going to be kidnapped and then he would never see her again. (Yes, Neji, unbeknownst to most people, actually has a soap-opera style mind. He overreacts to everything.)

Or, three, the worst of all…

She was trying. (Keyword TRYING) To. _Cook._

"Ah! No!"

A loud crash, followed by swearing galore.

"You should probably go check on her." Lee nudged him in the direction of the loud house, and Neji looked at him skeptically.

"She told me to stay out of her house, remember?" He raised an eyebrow. "I don't want to die on my birthday."

"Good point." Lee scratched his head quizzically, then brightened. "I will act as Gai-sensei and tell you to go check on her!"

Neji shook his head disapprovingly. "So, translated, 'Lie and tell her that Gai-sensei sent you to check on her'."

"Yep! I would go, but I promised to help Hinata with your party." Lee gave him a pointed look. "So go! Do not forget to show up for your party."

Neji sighed. "Fine. But in return, I expect you to ditch the confetti."

Lee's face fell instantly. "But Neji! The confetti must be included!"

"Lee, do you have any idea how embarrassing it was to explain politely to my clients for a month and a half why I have sparkles in my hair?" He snapped, and Lee sweat dropped.

"Um… right! Ex-nay on the confet-tay!" He ran off.

Neji sighed and started off in the opposite direction toward Tenten's house, flinching when he heard another loud curse ring out through the afternoon.

After a few minutes, he arrived at Tenten's house. He apprehensively knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" Tenten's cheerful voice came from inside, and he relaxed and discarded all his earlier worries about what might have caused the commotion.

"Neji." He answered hesitantly, still worried about how she might get mad at him. If all that yelling and crashing was just her losing her temper with a minor thing, he wanted to hightail it away immediately, birthday or no. "What are you doing?"

The door opened in front of him, and Tenten stuck her head around the corner and grinned at him. "Come on in, birthday boy! I could use a little help!" she reached around and grabbed his wrist and pulled him inside before he could run away or protest.

"Um…" Neji stopped and stared at her disheveled appearance. There were streaks of white in her brown hair, and her eyes were ringed with red. Her regular pink top had a tear all the way across the belly, and her pants were stained with brown from the thigh down to the shin on one side. "I'll repeat my question. What are you doing?"

"It's your birthday!" She cheerfully shoved him away from the door, locking it. "I could use a little help on your birthday cake!"

Neji froze.

_She. Was. Cooking._

"Let me out!" He turned and dove towards the door, but she grabbed his wrist again and pulled him back.

"C'mon, Neji! It's not that dangerous!" She sighed, putting her hands on her hips and barring his way out.

"…Right. You just decided to get extravagant with your appearance in honor of my birthday." Neji sarcastically rolled his eyes, staring pointedly at her belly, and she crossed her hands over her ripped shirt.

"Blender accident." She snapped.

"The highlights in your hair."

"Flour spillage."

"The red eyes."

"Lemons fighting back."

"The multi-colored pant leg."

"The batter trying to escape from the bowl."

Neji nodded, though not looking any less scared. "Right. You've convinced me it's safe to stay in the house while you're cooking now."

Tenten sighed in exasperation. "Neji, it's _fine, _alright? I'm not _hurt._ Just a little bit more 'extravagant' in the outfit. And I really need to get your cake done. And…" She sighed, lowering her eyes. "I need help. Really."

Neji smirked. "Would you like a bandage for that wound in your feminine pride?"

"…Go sit in the kitchen like a good little birthday boy." She snapped, pushing past him and going up the stairs and into the bathroom. "While I go turn my hair brown again."

Neji chuckled. "Alright. Whatever you say, oh great chef." He turned on his heel and strode into the kitchen, stopping short instantly. "Um, Tenten…"

"What now?" Tenten called from down the stairs, sticking her head out the bathroom door with a towel on her head.

"What did we tell you about cooking with explosives?" He bluntly reprimanded her, looking around. There were white and brown smudges all over the walls and ceiling and floor, and it looked like there were eggs all over the floor, which he carefully sidestepped.

"I didn't use explosives this time!" She took the towel off her head and came down the stairs to follow him in.

Neji raised an eyebrow and settled down on a chair that wasn't coated in food. "This time?" He repeated.

Tenten nodded. "It was much faster with explosives, though." She pushed aside some eggshells with her toes.

"And probably cleaner." Neji stood up, frowning as he realized the seat he had sat on wasn't clean.

Tenten laughed at him. "Don't get mad at me just because you didn't look where you sat." She gave him a pointed look as he dusted the flour off his pants, and he glared back at her.

"So…" Neji satisfied himself with just standing as he addressed his teammate this time. "What needs doing? Or did you just bring me in here to humiliate me on my birthday?"

Tenten laughed and shook her head. "All that needs doing is the easiest part." She went around the counter. "The frosting!" She held up a big tub of chocolate icing.

"Right. Thanks for saving me the easy job." He came around.

"The cake's right there. Just let me… get… this… open…" She gritted her teeth and tried to pull the top off, but it was stuck. "Um, little help, Neji?"

"Here. Let me-"

"Hold on! I think I got it!

"Tenten! Not like that!"

Exactly like it should be in a movie, with slow motion and dramatic music, the top of the frosting came off…

And the frosting came with it.

And got all over both their faces.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Neji growled, running a hand through his hair irritably. "Now there's chocolate all over me."

"Sorry." Tenten sighed, leaning down to pick up the carton she had dropped in her shock, her frown deepening with an aggravated huff.

"And now there's no more chocolate frosting." She threw the empty carton into the sink perfectly, crossing her arms.

Neji eyed the cake behind her tentatively. "Do you think that's edible?"

"I don't think so." Tenten admitted nervously, wiping her face off with a towel and tossing it to the birthday boy. "It's the first time I've ever attempted to make a cake. Does it look okay?"

"Um…" Neji poked at one side, where a huge air bubble had deformed it so it was leaning dangerously over the counter. "Yeah. It looks edible." He lied nervously.

_Please don't ask me to taste it, please don't ask me to taste it…_

"We should probably try it, to make sure I don't poison anybody."

…_Why me?_

"Come help me with this, Neji." She called, putting a knife underneath the cake's edge. "We should take it off the platter."

"Tenten, I don't think that's the best idea…" He flinched as the knife wedged into Tenten's monstrosity and didn't budge.

"Darn thing…" She muttered, trying to pull it out by yanking it back towards her- and in the process taking the whole plate with her.

"Tenten!" Moving on instinct, he grabbed her arm and yanked her backwards. The plate fell to the floor, and the cake cracked into a hundred pieces.

They both stared at the mess for a few moments, stunned.

"Do cakes normally crack when they hit the ground, Neji?" Tenten managed, eyes wide.

"No." He sighed. "No, they don't."

"Huh." She blinked, sighing. "Well, perhaps it was for the better. At least I didn't kill anybody."

"Yeah." Neji agreed. _That was a little close too close for comfort, though…_

"We should-" He started to talk to her, but shut his mouth immediately. Tenten was staring forlornly down at the mess at her feet, biting her lip.

"Tenten?" He spoke her name hesitantly, but she didn't look up.

"Sorry." She laughed lightly. "I guess I really shouldn't try to cook." She bit her lip again, picking up the knife half-heartedly.

_She's embarrassed. _Neji watched her twirl the knife in her fingers absentmindedly for a few seconds, then sighed, snatching it out of her hand.

"What?" She blinked at him, and he smiled and threw it in the sink.

"It's okay, you know." He chuckled softly, and she diverted her eyes to the floor, turning red as a tomato. "I didn't expect anything different."

"Yeah." She muttered, defeated. "I suppose I shouldn't have expected anything different, either."

"The bakery's just down the road." He prodded when she didn't look up from her feet. "Nobody needs to know about this cake."

Finally, the reaction he was looking for. Tenten brightened visibly, giving him a hopeful smile. "Really?" She ventured, and he nodded.

"Come on. We have half an hour before my… party." He made a face at the word, and Tenten laughed and followed him over the cake disaster and out the door.

**X.O.X.O.**

"Thank you."

"What?" Neji gave his teammate a puzzled look. "What did I do?"

She gave him a dazzling smile. "Thank you for making me stop moping over my failure of a cake. You shouldn't have had to do that on your birthday."

Neji shrugged, adjusting the plate holding the professionally-made replacement cake. "You're welcome, then."

They walked along in silence for most of the way before Tenten spoke up again, hands behind her back. "I feel like I should give you something."

"I told you I didn't want any presents." Neji reminded her pointedly, and she nodded hurriedly.

"Still… I don't think you'll mind this present." She smiled and, on an impulse, leaned over and pecked him on the cheek lightly, her entire face the color of her shirt.

Neji, being the genius that he was, promptly dropped the cake on the ground in his surprise.

Both ninja stared down at the mess on the ground in front soberly, mourning the loss of yet another wonderful cake, before Neji spoke.

"I guess it just wasn't meant to be…"

**A/N- Again, hope you liked! Review, and I give you a piece of cake! (Not Tenten's cake. Edible cake. XD -dodges kunai-)**


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